just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
