I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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