She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
