only you would photoshop your dick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
