he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
