Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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