god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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