conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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