nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
