Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
