I am in a vortex of obligation.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
