How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
