real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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