So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
