You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
