when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
