5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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