we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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