her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
