I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
