Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
