Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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