so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm bleeding and have questions
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
