Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
