At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
