i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
