I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
