Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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