'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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