I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
