am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
