Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
