I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
