plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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