why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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