Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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