Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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