just come out here and I will go home with you...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
