Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
