Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
