Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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