i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
