dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
