Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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