East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
