A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
