i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
