I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Two words: nipple clamps
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