okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
