We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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