Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
