I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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