Umm I'm too high to move.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
